No Go

Just got word from Kostya - we're not on Monday's list. Looks like we'll just have to settle in and wait for a letter from the NAC.

God bless,

Andy

Beginnings

There's a saying...Want to make God laugh? Tell Him your plans.

When someone would ask when were would have another child, I'd say through my smug grin..."it will take an act of God." I wasn't so smart after all. Our Heavenly Father had other plans, but He worked them in slowly.
We talked about adoption now and then, but talk is as far as it went. With two boys, Ethan (now nearly 9) and Ryan (7), we kinda thought it would be nice to round out our family with a girl. We married late and are in our forties so we really don't want another baby.

One Sunday in church, there was a presentation to concerning orphans in Ukraine. They wanted to send Christmas packages to them. We took three - one from my wife, Colleen and I and one each from of the boys.

That was almost two years ago.

Then they organized a short-term mission trip. The goal was to hold a week-long bible school for the orphans. Colleen and I went. Before this we never had ANY desire to go on a mission. That was for other people. Right.

These kids tugged at our hearts. They've got no one. They're underfed and alone in the world. Researching, I came across this statement (paraphrased) "They could put everything they own in one small drawer...if they had a drawer." How could we refuse?

We went to Ukraine in July of 2004.

Just before we left we hosted a child in a program to bring some over here to visit for three weeks. Lira was a lovely 10 year-old with a big smile and a bigger temper. She was so unhappy with us. When we tried to find out what was wrong. Her interpreters (she spoke no English) would say everything was fine. We were stressed to the max. Any thoughts we had about adoption were gone out the window.

In Ukraine, we first visited the kids summer camp where the bible school would be held. (Ukrainians have a school year familiar to us, with summers off. The kids from Orphanage #4 spent the summer in a camp by the Black Sea. It was a former communist indoctrination camp. The facilities are old but things are being fixed up with private funds. Still, things are somewhat rough. There are dormitory-type buildings and a few bungles.
Stories of children sharing their quarters with rats are not uncommon. Believe me, it's better than some alternatives.

We were there only a few minutes when it started to rain. A few children ventured out in the downpour to greet us. One of them, Larisa, changed our lives forever.

Larisa was a beautiful 13 year-old with very long brown hair. I first saw her talking to Colleen. I was a few feet away talking to one of the counselors. A few minutes later I joined them.

Her hair was wet from the rain. She was a tiny thing...so thin. And she was shivering. Larisa spoke a little English so we talked to her about the camp. To this day I've got no idea what happened, but in that few minutes of conversation, Larisa stole our hearts in her shy quiet way.

Returning to our hotel room (yes we stayed at a hotel on our missions trip - don't even ask!) we collapsed on our beds and almost immediately talked about possibly adopting Larisa. She was on both our minds. Almost from that first moment a bond formed between us.

During the week we learned more about Larisa and her situation. She's been at the orphanage since she was 7. Her parents have problems with drugs (so very common there). I don't know much about her father but her mother had just completed a rehab program and wanted to see about getting Larisa back. Larisa wanted no part of her mother at the time. We met Larisa's grandmother. A wonderful woman of 80. She loves her granddaughter very much but she can't provide a home for her.

Also, Larisa is an only child. This is important because Ukrainian law forbids breaking up sibling groups. Remember Lira? We found out she has 5 sisters and a brother. Even if we had a change of heart towards her, we wouldn't be able to consider it. Ukrainian law also frowns on "preselecting" children. We should be all right with Larisa because we met her on a humanitarian mission.

During the week we found ourselves looking for Larisa every time we set foot in camp. She also sought us out to spend time with us. She made it clear she wanted to come to America and join our family.

Colleen and I are certain about our feelings for Larisa. We already consider her our daughter. We also know Larisa's drive to get out of the orphanage is very strong. She's a smart girl and motivated. Neither Colleen nor I would be surprised if Larisa only saw us as a way out. We can't blame her. We'll do what we can to help and trust God we're doing the right thing.

In stark contrast to this, we have no guarantees we will be able to adopt Larisa. Her mother could put up a fight. And we want what's best for Larisa. Obviously what would be ideal is if Larisa's mother was truly rehabilitated, they were reunited and lived happily ever after. And I could trip going out my door, fall flat on my face staring at a winning lottery ticket. I'd sooner count on the second event.

We'll cross that bridge when we come to it. At one point we decided we simply don't have the energy or the funds for an extensive court battle. Then again, we're talking about our daughter's life...

At this point I just don't know and I don't see much sense in making this decision now. What I do know is there are 55,000 kids rotting away in Ukrainian orphanages (this is NOT a slam against Ukraine or anyone there - I'm simply saying they don't have much of anything, including hope). 300 are in Orphanage #4. They are all great kids. Every one of them deserves the kind of chance we'd like to offer Larisa.

Since then we've been preparing to adopt Larisa. We've got piles of paperwork and documents verifying every aspect of our lives. It's all been collected into an official dossier. The dossier was sent to Ukraine’s National Adoption Center (NAC) and we've been approved. We requested an April 25th appointment. We've heard nothing yet.

This brings us to today.

Today our translator (Kostya) is sending someone to the NAC to see if our Monday appointment is posted. It's one last shot in hopes we have an appointment and somehow the notice didn't make it to us. If our names are on the list, we will hop on a plane tomorrow with the boys to keep our appointment.

God bless,

Andy